new attitude

Today was an a-ha day for me. I'm laying here with a sleeping baby in my arms and another one in his bed and he's laying on his third set of sheets for the day. Why so many sheets? There was an expertly snuck container of jello under the covers and then there was our very first poop smearing act that required cleaning the window and bed and sheets and floor....I could go on but I won't. Dawson has an ear infection, I'm positive Ellie does too. We'll verify that in the morning. The kids haven't slept more than a hour at a time for two days. And today Ellie has been throwing everything up. I worry about her. My house is dirty, the clothes need to be folded, dinner needs to be cooked and things gotten ready for tomorrow. Why do I feel so crummy? Is it because we had to stay home for the second week in a row from church? Is it James' long hours? Then I figured it out. It was my attitude.

It has been a rough few weeks for us here in the Brannon home. A lot of changes have taken place, some that I am ok with and others that I simply cannot seem to get a grasp on.

The kids are growing up so fast and it. seems like the harder I try to hold on to them, the faster times flies. It hit me when I dropped Dawson off to primary a few weeks ago. For my non-LDS family, primary is sort of like the older kids Sunday school. He simply moved from nursery into a Sunday school class but it was a huge step for me. He is my first born and I wasn't ready for the transition. He no longer requires my help in going to the restroom. I even have to stand outside the stall at the store. He dresses himself and more often than not can cook whatever he wants out of the fridge in the microwave with very little assistance. I watch him try to take care of Ellie and he seems so grown up. He tries to explain to her why we can't put things in our mouths or go in the bathrooms alone. Such a good big brother... And little miss Ellie thinks she is as big as brother. she's constantly trying to pull up on everything and can even walk along the couches and beds. She is getting to be so very beautiful and I cry at least once a day over her independence. Dawson was walking at 9 months and I was so excited but with Ellie I just want her to slow down. I want time to slow down, slow way down. My old attitude - I wish time would stop and they would stay little. My new attitude- cherish every hug, every cry and every moment I have with them. Enjoy it instead of being sad about it.

I had a horrible time trying to get school going this semester. I am not one that calls people out on their mistakes but a certain college wouldn't give up my scholarship and send the award back to the university for me. Someone made a schedule for me, without me knowing, and I was enrolled in both schools here. I was not happy when I couldn't get my scholarship awarded back to bama to pay for this semester but for once I took care of the matter all on my own. It's a big change for me. I got done in a few hours what they said would take them weeks to fix. Not on my money...a few calls to people over the dean's head and it all worked out. I even got two apology phone calls, one from the dean. It was very empowering to do it all one my own and not let James fight all my battles for me. I should be more grateful that we have zero college debt and that through Dennis' sacrifice I even earn money as I go to school. Can't get much better than that.

James has been my knight in shining armor lately. He has been working so hard lately and I can't believe how far he has come in the last few months. He works well past midnight every night and still manages to spend a few wonderful, precious hours with me and the kids. This week alone he has sold 7 kirbys. Two days this week he has managed to sell two in one day. They only do two demos a day so I'd say his record is dang good. He has worked so hard and soon all the hours will pay off when he gets his own office to open up. I have to admit that I have pick quite a few battles with him this week. I miss him so much during the day and I have had a tendancy this week to unload everything on him when he gets home. Maybe I just really want to make up. So if you are reading this baby, I just wanted to share a few things that I love so much about him....

He has tons of pics of the kids and us on his phone, and he shows them to everyone.

He forgets to get a towel out of the cabinet every morning. I don't mind bringing him one even though the cabinet is a few feet away from the shower.;)

He sleeps curled up next to me all night long. He doesn't even let the kids come crawl inbetween us. He wants to cuddle next to me.

I love watching him get ready in the mornings though I'm usually asking him to hurry up so we aren't late. And has he ever picked out his own clothes? I really don't mind that either.I love the fact that he "needs" me to help him, every morning.

He remembers all my favorite little treats and picks one up for me when I've had a rough day.

He paints my toenails and gives the BEST massages. With my back injury it doesn't take much pressure to put me to tears but he has expertly learned how to make it feel so much better.

He doesn't say anything when I pop my joints (fingers, ankles, neck, ect.) at night even though I know it makes him cringe.

He tries to cry on demand if he thinks it will help his cause. It ALWAYS makes me laugh and ends any dispute we might be having.

He really tries to understand where I am coming from even though sometimes even I don't know why I am so upset...especially when I cry because Ellie was standing in her bed that morning. I promise I'm not pergant.

I cherish our time together more and I appreciate his dedication to his family. He does this so I can stay home with our beautiful babies and enjoy them. How lucky I am to have that chance. So as I lay here with my little princess beside me, I know things will improve.....all I needed was a new attitude.

He is my best friend and even though we have had our fair share of ups and downs, I love him more today then I ever have before.

Kirby!!!

So today I got to use our new Kirby vacume cleaner and boy was I impressed! It cleans so well! I thought I had done a good job cleaning earlier that day and to give a little credit to myself we did have a four legged friend stay inside with us all day after I mopped the hardwood, but that vacume picked up so much stuff! The thing that kind of grossed me out was using it on our bed. Its only about a month old but still a lot came out of it. Afterwards I was informed I did it wrong since on a pillow top you are suppose to vacume through the sheets. Oh well! And I washed the bathroom mats today and James used it on them and it picked up dirt! No one had even been in there. Maybe it's time for a new washer. We used the demo filters all night just so we could see how much stuff was picked up. It was fun and a very purifying experience!

still going strong!

So we had an accident the first night with Dawson sleeping in underwear and one later on the next morning but since then we have been dry! He even got up in the middle of the night to potty! So no wet sheets this morning and I had let him sleep in a little bit. We're ready for another great day! This is a lot easier than I thought.....

Dawson has been saying lots of funny things lately. The other day he took a pillow off our bed and was pushing it around the floor. I caught him and told him thanks for adding to the laundry pile for the day. His response.....no problem mom! He also makes up conversations for everyone who can't speak for themselves (sister, the dogs, scoop the tractor) each morning Dawson helps me feed and water the dogs and he'll use this "deep" voice and say "mommy give me my food, hurry mommy" I guess that's what Duke and Leo are thinking when we feed them. Silly boy!

I just wanted to let James know I was proud that he passed the initiation to the car club. He was voted into the No Limits club this week. I wasn't to excited about the club at first but after meeting everyone and seeing all the wonderful things they do to help the community, I had a change of heart. They definetly aren't your run of the mill car club.....at least from the ones I saw in Huntsville. Congrats baby! I also want to say what a wonderful husband I have. He has been working from 6-9 almost everyday for the past few weeks so we can have a great Christmas and get completely out of debt. He works really hard during the day and still comes home and plays with the kids and spends time with me. I don't know how he manages all of it but I am so proud of him! Thank you sweetheart!!!!!

it happened.......

So today the inevitable happened. James totaled out his Harley. I knew it would happen, I just wish it had happened on a different week. We buried my grandfather a few days ago and I'm not over that and its a story to tell when I feel better about it. James is alright.....right now he has quite a few stitches and we are waiting on the rest of the tests to come back. So far there are no broken bones. Hopefully there are no internal injuries either.

So let's start from the beginning. I wasn't to thrilled about him riding the motorcycle but boys will be boys and he has had the motorcycle for about two weeks now and he has riden it constantly! But today I've felt weird all day. Other than going to class I stayed home and cleaned my house since it was neglected during the past week. But everytime James called I had the feeling to tell him extra that I loved him and to be careful. Somehow I knew it would be today. How grateful I am that I had that promoting!!! I was about to start dinner when I thought to call James and see where he was since he was a little late. I had the nagging feeling that something wasn't right. He answered and told me he had just wrecked the bike and I needed to come get it before they towed it off. Man was I scared!!!! I dressed the kids and had to change the carseats into the truck and take off. Luckily he wrecked near the house and it didn't take me long to get there. He was in the back of the ambulance when I got there so I checked on him, kissed him, all that good stuff then set out to try to get that nearly 500 pound motorcycle into the back of the truck. Thankfully there were three guys there to help - well do most of the work- and the truck is lowered a good bit. James, this is the only time I will be thankful you got us in so much trouble lowering that truck!!;) After we got the bike loaded, I followed the ambulance to the hospital. I have never seen so many people in the ER before!! There were tons of trauma patients and James was one of them. I was so grateful that Megan was working that night and got us back to the x-rays really fast! And she was so sweet to spend extra time with James helping him when he needed it. She was a life saver as were the home teachers who came by and gave James a blessing. And thank you so much Palmer family for watching the kids!!! That is a blessing beyond expression!!! So now we are just waiting for the CT scan to come back. He's throwing up a lot and that is worrying me but with his stomach problems it could just be stress. Let's hope so!

So how did this happen.... It has rained here off and on all day so the roads are wet and according to the witnesses a lady cut James off and stopped in front of him. He couldn't stop in time so he rear ended her and flipped over his handle bars and over her car!that's all he remembers! I know it hurt!

And so we wait.....I will update tomorrow and post some pictures. Thank you to everyone who called, came by or who are helping out. It means a lot to us to see how many people care and how many have sacrificed to help us out tonight! I also want to express my deep gratitude for the temple and the covenants we make.there. I know James was protected tonight. You can physically see the evidence with the road rash never going past his knees or elbows. I was told tonight that I would have lost my husband if he hadn't been wearing his helmet but I know it would have been worse if other commandments hadn't been kept either. I know Heavenly Father watches over us and loves us dearly. I don't know what I would have done had we lost James tonight.I am so glad for the protection he received tonight.